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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

BY WAY OF EXPLANATION

Assiduous readers of my blog will have shaken their heads and thought I might be dead, remarrying, cavorting, washed out to sea from my house or. . . None of the above is true. The intermittencies they will have perceived have to do with a month spent in the archives at Yale and the Harry Ransom Center, a month in which, wherever I went or whatever I did, I froze. After my barefoot years at nine degrees north of the equator, the shoes I brought with me did not fit, etc. That is one reason.

Another is a certain Mr. Hogares, a furtive thirtyish semi-crackhead who loiters with a companion along the sea-front and, if he sees you duck into the loo for a quick one, will abstract your computer in no time at all. This little creep, I would have you know, had already stolen six other computers along my road in Cahuita. This, I am told, is standard practice among Costa Ricans: you are a foreigner, a gringo, and thus obviously rich and fair game. No matter that Mr. Hogares has been battered with baseball bats (how dare gringos attack a man in the exercise of his profession? even if that profession is thieving?) and hospitalized for two weeks, he needs his goodies.


This might seem curious to you, but the fact is that we all know him. We know where he lives, what he does for a living, his methodology. So do the police. So does our D.A., known as the Fiscal of Talamanca, a man who makes his living by releasing paedophiles, thieves, and other sundry criminals. But Costa Rica for some fifty years has been living in the ideal consitutional world dreamt up -- when this was a sleepy country and the rich were the abusers of the ¨rights of the people¨-- by the esteemed Jose Figueres. I met him long ago and a fine democrat he was too. But he was president of a backward little country that no one, and certainly the drug lords of Colombia and Mexico, cared much about.

Since Figueres, I fear, it has all been downhill, as it is with all places that are so democratic and fair that workers and criminals alike can do pretty much as they please.

The downhill slope, of course, goes quickly from equity and fine feelings, to corruption -- the one commmodity, besides natural beauty, bananas and coffee of which Costa Rica has a sufficiency. As you would expect -- God knows the United States has its share in the government and big business -- corruption is not a creation of Costa Rica´s people, who are largely honest, affable and hard-working, but filters down from On Top.


Add to that that my very own Talamanca is something like the Wild West of Costa Rica and that we have neither government nor justice here, and you will understand the intermittency caused by Mr. Hogares to my blog. Here we don´t let the police into the house, lest they case the joint; here drugs are sold from a caff on the main road in the plain sight of all, no doubt with a cut for the authorities in our county seat in Bribri; here our Sindaco gets himself elected by deliveries of sacks of rice to the indigenos who live in the mountains behind me; and here Colombian speed-boats drop their supplies a few hundred yards out from my beach. It may sound like hell, but in fact it´s a little forgotten paradise, and all I´m doing is explaining why I have not blogged as reguarly as I would like.

4 comments:

  1. This is the most interesting "my dog ate it" that I've ever read. Narratively it was a tad confusing, but the blogosphere is forgiving. For a minute I thought Mr. Hogares (I first read it as Hogarth and pictured The Rake's Progress) had followed you to Connecticut. That would be a story.

    Are you sure he didn't? Maybe he switched shoes on you.

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  2. I wonder what the criteria for semi-crackheads might be; I see plenty of toothless catatonic types here in rural New Jersey, but they rarely (if ever) need to be fended off with Louisville Sluggers. Try pepper spray - it'll make a longer-lasting impression.

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  3. to Stashin et al


    A semi crackhead is one who can still function with skill and impunity and while you are just a few feet from him. Senor Hogares is a specialist. Like a magician, he has an assistant who lurks about reporting your movements. I do not live on the 17th floor of an apartment building but between jungle and sea. Should you go out of a room, he can enter. He does not mug, so pepper spray does nothing. Better laws would help. Otherwise the local price for dropping him a mile off shore with his sneaker laces tied hovers at the $500 mark.

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  4. The shark chum special, eh? And a bargain at a half-K!

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